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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26050348">Dishes and Kisses</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megalibrarygirl/pseuds/Megalibrarygirl'>Megalibrarygirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Silver Diamond</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Nervousness, Not Beta Read, Spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:48:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26050348</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megalibrarygirl/pseuds/Megalibrarygirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Chigusa asks Rakan a somewhat embarrassing question that leads to a happy conclusion. I love these two so much, I really wanted more of their lives together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sawa Rakan/Senrou Chigusa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dishes and Kisses</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Rakan is in college. He and Chigusa live together like roomies for now...</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rakan opened the creaky side door to his house and was welcomed back into the steamy warmth of the kitchen. At the sink, his back to Rakan, Chigusa was still washing dishes. The window in front of the sink was covered in condensation and on the window, Chigusa had drawn a smiley face that was being taken over by steam again. Rakan smiled, warming up against the cold, feeling his skin tingle. He knew Chigusa was already aware of him and as he looked up from putting his gloves into his coat pocket, he saw his roommate steal a look in his direction, give a small smile, then turn back to the sink.</p>
<p>It was their habit for Rakan to cook and for Chigusa to clean up. Rakan liked to take the vegetable scraps left over out to his compost pile in the garden. He’d just finished carrying out the carrot tops and onion skins into the freezing night. While he’d disposed of the vegetables, he’d thought about how Chigusa had acted strangely over their dinner. It was subtle and Rakan was sure that only he, who knew Chigusa so well, could notice. </p>
<p>Rakan put his coat away and wished again that the “signal” he and Chigusa shared was stronger in this world. Most of the time it didn’t work at all on Earth and he’d gotten used to having Chigusa in his head in the alternate world. He liked knowing what Chigusa was thinking. Tonight, his friend had been relatively quiet and contemplative, and while that wasn’t necessarily unusual depending on the circumstances, Rakan felt that something was off. Even though Chigusa was the person he was closest to, he still couldn’t figure out exactly what was wrong and that bothered him.</p>
<p>Rakan sat at the table, which was already spotlessly cleaned by Chigusa and pulled over his backpack from next to the chair. He took out his college homework and started working on it, as he usually did after dinner, but he became distracted again. He looked at Chigusa working at the sink. Chigusa stood up straight, concentrating fully on what he did, like always. Rakan liked the red-checkered flannel shirt he wore today which stretched across his shoulders. He liked the way his sleeves were rolled up, showing his long forearms. Chigusa pushed his black hair out of his eyes using the back of his arm from time to time since his hands were still wet. He watched Chigusa finish up at the sink and then before he could catch him staring, he turned back to his homework.</p>
<p>A few moments later, he felt Chigusa settle in across from him at the table. His long legs stretched out, but he was careful not to bump into Rakan. He was always very aware of where he was in relation to his friend, even when he was excited and hugging Rakan. That made Rakan realize that he hadn’t hugged Chigusa in a long time. He thought about it, and realized the last time was New Year’s eve. Chigusa was often affectionate. He missed those hugs. It had been almost a week now since New Year’s.</p>
<p>Rakan was startled when he heard Chigusa ask, “Would be alright if I kissed you?"</p>
<p>Rakan felt his heart speed up and his insides flipped. He looked up and swallowed. It was just like Chigusa to cut to the heart of something that was probably going to be embarrassing. “Uh, Chigusa?”</p>
<p>Chigusa kept going, “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. When I first met you, I wanted you to stay with me. I would have done anything to get you to come with me back to my world. Then you made me yours, and I am glad you did.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad, too, Chigusa,” Rakan said, and suddenly felt like his response was inadequate. Now he knew why Chigusa had been acting strangely at dinner.</p>
<p>“I know I’m yours,” Chigusa said with a fond smile. He wasn’t going to stop and Rakan was glad because he realized he wanted to hear more. “I miss sharing your thoughts, Rakan.”</p>
<p>“Oh! Well I miss that too,” Rakan pointed out.</p>
<p>“I want to be closer to you when we are here, in this world, though,” Chigusa said, now staring at his hands. Rakan didn’t think he’d ever seen Chigusa embarrassed before, but that was kind of what this looked like. “I asked Narushige about kissing, and he became upset in the same way he does about me talking about sleeping next to you, or taking a bath with you.”</p>
<p>Rakan felt his face heat up. That was a little embarrassing. But he and Chigusa were closer than anyone he knew. He always had felt comfortable having him touch him or hold him. It didn’t feel sexual: it just felt right. He thought about Chigusa putting his arms around him at New Year’s, how strong he was and how safe he felt being pulled against him. He cleared his throat and said, “Well, Narushige is old-fashioned, so he frowns on that sort of thing.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Chigusa said, his eyes now steady on Rakan’s, “but I still can’t help wanting to seduce you.”</p>
<p>Rakan knew his face was bright red now. Chigusa was looking at him, like he was afraid of what Rakan might say next. But Rakan wasn’t sure what to say. It was one thing to share everything they had, mind and body for one another when it came to fighting for the Amato Empire. It was another thing to touch one another, but to think of going further, for it to become something else? Rakan didn’t know what to think about Chigusa’s words here inside his small house in Japan. </p>
<p>Suddenly, the image of touching Chigusa’s actual heart, which was silver and beautiful, flashed through his head. It was so intimate that time where he healed Chigusa’s dying heart. He remembered him without a shirt, bandages binding his chest. His mind flitted to other times he’d seen Chigusa bare-chested. It was sexy seeing him so vulnerable. He bit his lip and was surprised at himself. He put his palms on the wooden table and made himself look up.</p>
<p>Chigusa licked his lips and kept talking, “I watched a show on the TV today about people who fought for gay rights. They fought so that they could love one another, to have the one person they wanted more than anything to be at their side. They said that in Japan, it has been legal for a long time for a man to love another man, but there were still struggles that some people face. Is that why it is not something people talk about?” </p>
<p>“I’m… not sure why people have trouble talking about it, Chigusa. I don’t have a lot of experience with being in love. I’m not sure how to talk about it either.”</p>
<p>Chigusa looked up at Rakan again. There was something in his eyes. “We don’t have to talk about it very much, either. Tell me, may I kiss you?”</p>
<p>Rakan found himself awash in too many feelings all of a sudden. He wanted the closeness they had when they were in the alternate world. He knew exactly what Chigusa was thinking when they were there, and he was, in fact, aware of the way that Chigusa enjoyed looking at Rakan’s face or his body. He remembered the innocent ways that Chigusa thought about him: wanting to hold his hand, wanting to put his arm around him, wanting to hug him. It never felt sexual and this felt very sexual, which Rakan wasn’t sure he was completely ready for. Rakan blinked and said, “Just a kiss?”</p>
<p>“Sometimes, men who love one another kiss each other. Rakan, I don’t know how people should behave sometimes. But I do know how to kiss.” He kept his eyes steady on Rakan.</p>
<p>Rakan found his brain scrambling to keep up. Chigusa had had a long life. He remembered Rinrai, and how in that time of Chigusa’s life he had let himself be “used” by women in her village. That must have been what he meant. Rakan felt the silence in the house stretch, but Chigusa was patient. Finally, Rakan said, lamely, “Yes, that’s true, sometimes people do kiss.”</p>
<p>“I want that, with you, Rakan.” He reached across the table and his fingers brushed against Rakan’s. It felt good and Rakan found himself nodding without even consciously thinking, “Yes.”</p>
<p>Chigusa stood up, the chair scraping against the floor. He came over to Rakan who found himself more nervous than embarrassed. He’d never kissed anyone before, not like this. Chigusa knelt down in front of him on one knee and touched the side of Rakan’s face. He leaned into him and Rakan closed his eyes and let himself be guided forward until he felt his lips brush against Chigusa’s.</p>
<p>Chigusa’s lips were warm and dry, a little rough, perhaps, because the winter had chapped them somewhat. He’d stood forehead-to-forehead with Chigusa before, sharing his thoughts, but this was different. He liked it, and opened his eyes suddenly, only to see Chigusa’s eyes staring back at him, behind glasses. Then Chigusa pulled away, and took the glasses off, setting them on the table. He leaned in again and kissed him once more. Rakan felt himself responding, and then felt Chigusa smile for a moment before he continued the kiss. Rakan felt Chigusa’s tongue against his lips and he opened his own mouth slightly in a gasp, and then felt Chigusa’s tongue inside of him, his head tilted. Rakan’s hands moved on their own, pulling Chigusa closer. For a moment, it was awkward, he felt their teeth scrape against each other, but then Chigusa moved closer, his body filling the space between them. The kiss kept going longer than Rakan ever imagined it could. He felt strong hands on his back, pulling him tighter, the tickle of Chigusa’s hair against his face. He tasted a little like the tea they had drunk after dinner. Rakan hoped he tasted as good. He thought, suddenly, strangely, that Chigusa’s tongue felt stronger and bigger than it had any right to feel.</p>
<p>He felt Chigusa bite his lower lip gently before he stopped kissing him. Then Chigusa leaned in, hugging Rakan, leaning his head on Rakan’s shoulder. Rakan felt his breath as he asked, “Was that OK?”</p>
<p>Rakan was quiet for a moment. He let his hands press Chigusa closer, enjoying the heat and weight of him. He had to tell Chigusa what he thought though, so he said, “Look at me, Chigusa.” Chigusa unwound his arms and leaned away, but left his hands on Rakan’s thighs. He blinked and his beautiful hair was in his eyes. Rakan smiled at those eyes, at his expression which was so hopeful, so childlike and strangely both out of place and very, very Chigusa all at the same time.</p>
<p>“That felt wonderful,” Rakan said. Chigusa smiled, a larger smile than usual. Suddenly Rakan wanted to kiss that smile. He leaned into Chigusa and pressed his lips to his. Chigusa kissed him back. Then he felt Chigusa’s arms wrap around him again, and he was lifted against the taller man’s chest. He knew they were heading to the living room and the small, low couch in the corner. Chigusa placed him there and sat down next to him.</p>
<p>He lifted his hand and traced the outline of Rakan’s face, his smile serene. “Is this still OK, Rakan? Is this still correct or am I going to do something wrong?”</p>
<p>“No! Well, this is good,” Rakan said, “As long as we’re just kissing, I’m fine. I’m not sure about anything else, really, not yet at least.”</p>
<p>Chigusa still smiled, “That’s fine, Rakan. I’m good at waiting.” </p>
<p>Rakan found himself enveloped by Chigusa’s arms and somehow they’d ended up laying on the couch, Chigusa underneath Rakan. They kissed until Rakan’s lips buzzed and when they were finished, he nuzzled his head against Chigusa’s shoulder. He felt warm, safe, close and completely unafraid. </p>
<p>Rakan laid his hand on Chigusa’s chest and felt his heart beating a little quicker than usual. Chigusa placed a kiss on the top of Rakan’s head and said, “I’m grateful that we can feel this way together. It’s not the same as knowing your thoughts, but I like this in a different way.”</p>
<p>“Me too,” Rakan said. His whole body was thrumming with energy and feelings he’d never felt before. He snuggled in closer to Chigusa and was rewarded with the bigger man’s arms wrapping more tightly around him. He didn’t want to move ever again, and then again, he wanted to figure out more about what Chigusa could do. He wasn’t sure he was ready to ask, but maybe, he realized, he could try one thing Chigusa had always wanted.</p>
<p>“Chigusa? Would you sleep with me?”</p>
<p>Chigusa’s eyes grew wide, “Of course!”</p>
<p>“Oh! I mean, sleep with me, not… you know the other kind.”</p>
<p>Chigusa still smiled. “The answer is still the same. And whenever you’re ready, I know how to do that, too.”</p>
<p>Rakan felt himself blush. He crawled off Chigusa and held out his hand. “Let’s go to bed. I’ll finish my homework in the morning. I just want to keep being close to you. I missed this.”</p>
<p>Chigusa smiled and followed. They changed into pajamas, brushed their teeth and then went to bed.</p>
<p>Curling up into bed with Chigusa was the best decision he’d made in a long time, Rakan thought. He still wished he could read his friend’s mind again, but sharing their bodies like this almost made up for it.</p>
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